My black sedan pulls to a stop at the curb and I step out into the slush, ignoring the NO PARKING sign next to my bumper. Everything looks just as my contact said it would. I grab a selection of equipment and my briefcase and enter the building to scope out my target.
Being in actuality a professional harpist, and not a hit man, at this point in any job my objective is probably to locate the recreations coordinator who booked me, in order to ask her where I should set up. My equipment consists of a very innocuous music stand, a chair, and my gig bag.
Despite the seeming mundanity of arriving and setting up for an afternoon concert, the free-lance harpist’s job does bear many similarities to that of an assassin’s. (Perhaps I need not state that my complete knowledge of the profession ‘assassin’ comes from high quality, reputable sources such as the Bourne movies, Mission Impossible, and Bond; I hope the same is true of my reader.)
To begin with, I work alone. Every job has a new employer, a new location. I arrive at a building filled with strangers, excepting only my one contact (who is often occupied donning a gorgeous white formal dress or having her photographs taken). I’ve discovered that when I walk into the lobby of a fancy hotel with a music stand and briefcase, receptionists are helpful and men open doors for me, even though they don’t know why I’m there: who I’m there to see.
Once I’ve arrived, I take a moment to scope out the site; find out where things are, where I can stow my stuff, how I can most efficiently get my harp up into the second floor balcony. Often I arrive early enough that I have time to kill.
I should take a moment to mention that like any good hit man, I train extensively at home, as well as prepare specifically for each assignment. From the time I am first contacted I rehearse carefully and gather the necessary information for each job. Google Street View (while not as accurate as mythical movie-grade satellite imagery which can be magnified any number of times regardless of its original resolution) is remarkably handy when it comes to saving on travel time. It also allows me the element of surprise when I pull into the entrance, by eliminating the one or two slow passes it could otherwise take before I locate the street address on the building.
Attire is a key factor for both assassins and harpists. We all know of course that hit men wear black, exclusively. The same cannot be said for harpists, who have been known to wear the occasional navy evening gown, or even a hint of red, on Valentine’s Day. And while I really do love black knee-length boots, the ankle agility required when playing the pedal harp forces me to sport flats. Though as the Black Widow proved in The Avengers, even assassins wear pumps sometimes.
In closing, enjoy Lindsey Stirling and the Piano Guys, who were obviously thinking along similar lines as me when they made this video.
For a look at what being a harpist really looks like, read What Does A Freelance Harpist Do All Day?
Stephanie Claussen has served the wedding industry in Minneapolis & St. Paul since 2000. Lovely harp music could be available for your ceremony–consider hiring Stephanie!